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Hippo^0^

Mattafix big city life
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July 25

chinese medicine

Chinese medicine

Sleeplessness, toothache, eczema, low blood pressure! I am a hippo, not a fragile, fair lady, how come I have low blood pressure. Unbelievable! No wonder I feel dizzy most of the time. There were loads of other minor illness, not major ones, but still annoying. Having been visiting different hospitals since I got back, my mom was very determined to find out what hidden diseases I might have, it is very urgent to treat them now! those foreign doctors dont have a clue! well, they might have a clue, but whenever I think about making an appointment thing in Holland,( as you have to make an appointment with the hairdresser if you want a hair cut)it gets me sweaty. Anyways, having two of my inner teeth pulled out was the NO.1 thing on the list, which gave me, of course, a lot of pain, because I was warned by the doctors not to have hot pot or other spicy stuff. Hey, I am in Chongqing, it is such a torture not being able to have spicy food while being seduced by the smell wherever you go. Suck it up, Meg!

Finally we decided to take Chinese medicine. It was a great fun to talk to the doctor, a 70-year-old experienced doctor. He took my pulse, then he just named out all the troubles I have. I was cheered up by his quiet sense of humor, and I felt so peaceful to just sit there and talked to him. One good point about Chinese medicine clinic is that you dont have a group of people queueing behind you and rolling their eyes and making the very annoying sound of their mouths coz basically they just want to kick your ass out of there and get their turns.

On the way back home, the sky seemed bluer, it was like one shot, all the troubles were clearly defined, and I knew they would be treated by the whole pack of Chinese medicinal herbs. It will take a short while, but hippo will sleep well soon,hahaha. 

July 23

Tara

 

In Taras heart, I am always a child, a child who cries when she lost her lollipop. I felt bad, wanted to see Tara so much. She bought me a book 150cm life. I was laughing my tears out, not just for this book, but for the little happiness that I can still be a child in front of Tara. Her name is Xiong Mee, my name is Ma pea pea.

July 02

Madrid

Madrid

I was surprised how excited I was when I just arrived in Madrid. Coz it doesn’t happen to me that often. It is a shining city, a perfect combination of modernity and tradition. It has its glamorous history, traditions to amaze you, and it has everything you need in big city life to excite you.

It felt different from Rome, my intuition kept telling me “hell yeah, I am going to have fun here”

Night life started at 11pm to 6 am, oh, yeah! 6 AM! Isn’t that great! I went to check out the major nightblubs. But the music they played there was not particularly the one I would like to dance to.” Why do they all play Spanish music?? What about top 10 on MTV?” “because it’s Spain!” panda laughed. Anyway, I ended up dancing in an Irish bar, not bad, not bad at all,haha.

Spanish hippos like singing, they sing everywhere, on,football matches, in theme parks, at 5 o’clock in the morning, right on the streets where your hotels are. Nothing to complain about if you haven’t got a good night sleep, coz IT IS SPAIN! Go with it!

Bull fight

Under my strong request, panda agreed to watch bull fight with me. “it’s cruel, hippo!” panda said, “but I have never seen it before…” hippo was playing 5-year-old card.

It was indeed cruel, my tears always streamed down, when I saw the first bull got on its knees after the fatal thrust right through its heart. I don’t want to say I am sympathetic or anything like that, coz I insisted to go there, and I endorsed the killing. Tradition and morality had a big fight on the bull fight field

 

Flamenco

It’s a shame if you don’t watch Flamenco performance when u go to Spain. I kept telling myself. The Flamenco ballet dance “Karmen” was absolutely brilliant. It excited me from the very beginning till the end. One of the main dancers, the guy who played the “matador” in Karmen looked like a doll, he even outshone the leads Karmen, in my eyes. Too bad we couldn’t take pictures of the whole show.

There are many plays, dances, operas, musicals going on in Madrid, which I would like to see ALL! But due to the tight time table, I let go.( it would be a torture of poor panda as well,hahaha) But next time, when I go there again!

Food

Paella, I was very tempted to try different flavors, but it turned out too salty to me. And it was not very pleasant to be served by the big fat, bad attitude restaurant owner.

Tapas, panda insisted that I should try it. And we did, on our last meal in Madrid. It was alright, alright, fired fired fired, I don’t like deep fired things. Except patate. But it has to be big soft juicy patate with mayo!

Panini

he is a very lovely restaurant owner, a short, bald Italian man in his mid 50s. “Panini” was the name I gave him, hahaha. He has the eyebrows that speak!

Rome

Rome. Roads, buildings

I like the wide broad roads in Rome, and I like the fact you can kind of ignore the traffic light, although it can be dangerous, of course.

the buildings in Rome have an attitude, a sort of “I don’t give a damn, I’ve been here for ages!” attitude. they are not tall, but very spacious. They don’t bother to put on more layers on themselves in order to save space, coz there is enough space and respect for them to just stand there so proudly.

Walking in the city of Rome made me feel so tiny, I was so invisible in contrast to the broad roads and spacious buildings, and its glamorous history. But the general environment left me in a state of peace. I could take my time looking around and having a rest on the benches. And I don’t have to apologize for bumping into someone rushing to work. Coz it’s Rome, not New York.

Restaurant

Very lucky to travel with a generous panda, I got the chance to try a variety of delicious food in different restaurants. Most of the time, I was looking for something “grilled” or “roasted”. The “grilled” lamb in a restaurant stretched my cravings for “everything has to be either spicy, or grilled” hahaha. Most of the time, I was asking for “roast panda” “roast hippo”, but they were simply not on the menu.

I tried pizza in many restaurants and snack bars. But I felt very guilty to tell panda that my favorite pizza is still the juicy, big, fat, thick “Domino”. It has nothing to do with my fondness of fast food, which is despised by panda. It is simply because Domino meets all my requirements about pizza. Haha. The Italian pizzas are too thin, too crispy for me, though they look very nice and healthy with the green herbs on.

It turned out that my favorite food is still Chinese food. I like Thai, Korean food, because to some extent, they remind me of Chinese food. We went to a very popular Chinese restaurant TWICE, we were about to get in the third time, but failed, because there was a big giant long queue outside. It was a very simple, small Chinese restaurant, no fancy decoration stuff, except the pictures of the boss, taken with her guests, and a big chairman Mao’s portrait. It looks quite ironic and funny, nice deco!

Ice cream, one of the essential elements of our Rome trip—ice cream, beer, pink hippo.

I felt very happy when I saw panda having an ice cream, I guess it was the same when he saw me trying a sip of his beer.

May 22

take it easy

sometimes u feel you have lost someone something so importan to you, then you are desperately looking for a substitute, but you constantly get disappointed. actually, there are indeed someone and something that are just irreplaceable, so why bother to replace them. learn to take things easy, you will enjoy life more. when someone brings sunshine to your life, why bother to find out when it is going to rain? why always plan things while forgetting about enjoying every precious moment now? live life to the full? sounds cliche, but it is indeed about focusing on now.
April 28

Holland

I will be back on the 31th of May, Den haag is not my home, but i still feel like going home. i had a wonderful journey in Ireland, but i am looking forward to going  back. can't wait to go dancing with Nigel again!! Havana, Asta...hahahah,bring it on!!! oh, god, i am like a dancing machine!!!! just  turn on the music, then i will dance NON-STOP
i am really happy that Nigel still remembers me, even though i've sort of disappeared for quite a while. he is such a sweet heart  and genial person, actually i still kept the SMS he sent me the day i left holland, it felt so warm to be greeted like that,hahaha. and he speaks very very good japanese, for a westner, i am really impressed!! it's brilliant( even though i am not a fan of japan,haha). it's actually an inspiration for me, don't waste your talent, Meg!
and of course i will see panda again, he will pick me up in Amersterdam, oh, hippo's been a LARGE TROUBLE for him for A LONG LONG TIME,hahaha. oh, panda, i won't make clothes mountain anymore!!! can't wait to taste the thai curry panda made, I AM GOING TO EAT IT ALL!!!!
and my Bonnie, i am going to laugh my ass off by all her jokes, and our silly, crazy break dance!!!!!! oh yeah!!! i mean BREAK DANCE!!! and Annie, our lovely lovely hot pot buddy!!!!
and Arnold, hahaha, i will record my songs in his place, it's gonna be FUN!!!!!!!!!
and all my little fellas on the couch!!!! they are all waiting for pink hippo as well, pink hippo is going to bring a new friend, Molly, irish sheep, back!!!!
OH, why am i looking forward to going back?? because of all the people i love back there!!!!
 
 
April 27

our show rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

our musical "Copacopana" was on stage since yesterday, it will run 3 days, 6 shows altogether. it was absolutely fabulous!!!!!!! our 3 months effort finally paid off!!!!! 12 euro ticket, 350 seats, they were all sold out every night!!!!!!!!! can you believe that!!!!!! we felt like professional stage performers!!!!!!! during the 3 months rehearsals, we were putting so much effort on it, even during the Easter break, we were rehearsing every day, from 9am to 9 pm!!!!sometimes 10 pm! our director and choreographer were excellent!!!!! they were CLASS!!!!! our dancing was absolutely fantastic!!!! i really want to show that to everybody back in Holland!!! it was such a honor to be in the musical, it was NOT just some crappy students-ran show. it was PROFESSIONAL!!!!! our leads, our dancers, our band, everybody rocked!!!!!!!!!! i still remember how excited i was when i was picked up as a dancer after the audition!!! 3 months, that took up the major part of time during my staying in Ireland, in Mary I. i felt really involved, engaged to this show, to the school, even though everbody was grubby  and tired  sometimes during the rehearsals. but we kept the energy up, and gave our best to the audience!!!! and i feel so PROUD that i was the only international student in the show and the only chinese girl in the show. " oh, this chinese girl is such a good dancer!" hahahaha.
Sam Silver is proud to present the FABULOUS COPA GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found myself again!

I 've been lost for quite a while, really, i've been trying to reach a goal with the wrong approach for a long time. i've been distracted by other people's talking, by other people's doing, until i finally got lost. it felt awful to be lost, it really did. coz most of the time, I just felt so confused, I  knew I have a goal to achieve, and a dream to pursue, but i just didn't know where to go, i couldn't see the paths. i started to forget how great Meg used to be, i started to waste my talent, i started to lose confidence, i was focusing on something that was unspeakably silly!! i was lowering my own self-esteem, i felt like a broken millionaire. until one day, an angel told me "wake up!! it's a crime to waste your talent!" what she said to me really stroke my heart, and i decided to get back on the track, find Meg back. Bonnie always said i am her role model, i felt honored to be given this comment, so i will set her a really good one!
do you believe angels do exist? I do, coz i've met them...
 
April 18

crisis

only during crisis, you will see through something and someone, you will calm down and listen to your heart. only during crisis, you will witness colorful bubbles broken, you will realize how frigail such word "attraction" is. only during crisis, you will be truly grateful that people who love you are still standing by you.
thank you ,Bonnie,for all your help and support!!
thank you, panda, for saving my ass AGAIN!!
thank you, Arnold, for your genial offer!!
thank you, my parents and my tiny little granny, for being my rock.
thank you, all my best friends back in China, for making me laugh when i feel so down.
March 24

the cranberries

宴母,好久没和你说话了! 我现在在一个餐馆打工,有个爱尔兰女孩是我的同事,我说起酸草莓,才知道她就是来自我所在的城市,LIMERICK,她家离酸草莓女主音父母家很近,她和父母以前住在一起,她说她8年前在超市见过她,和她向普通人一样打招呼,她一点架子都没有,而且很可爱,两年前还见过她一次,但她没和父母住了。她给了我地址的,我好想去找她,去找到她父母也行,爱尔兰人真的很友好,他们不觉得什么明星大不了的。SINEAD住在都伯林,我回荷兰前一定要去找她!!! 你高兴不???我好高兴哦,今天听到,眼睛水都要流了,因为她不光是我喜欢的一个乐队,而是我们年少轻狂的见证!!是我们友谊的见证,让我记起我们初中的日子,我回来了要继续和你录歌,我已经好久没唱她的歌了.

February 27

peanutbutter

啊,最近竟爱上了花生酱,引用吴宗宪的话,这叫屋漏偏逢连天雨,妈的,不过各位爱吃花生酱的同志们,千万别把它和面包一起吃,不然就肥死!!由于在男人问题上再次受挫,本人学习积极性突然被激发了,一天狠命学德语,坚持和别人说德语,大家都笑我疯了,一天啃我的小绿本字典,眼睛都对了!!字笑得要死,NND!!哎呀,学习吧,学习吧,河马!!!
勤奋的河马
February 23

波波米

哎呀,我看了的,我看了的,波波米,康熙,本来没什么感慨的,结果MSNLIST 上有个男人自觉得很了不起,自己去弄了个TATTO,还把照片弄上去,拽你妈个头!!!老子顿时就火大了,就写下了刚才的豪言壮语,哈哈哈,我觉得把一条龙闻成肉色那个好好笑!!!

don't F bore me!

少他奶奶的在我面前装大王,你他妈的真以为你是KING啊???? 你他妈真以为你在选妃啊????? 去你妈的,老娘要的是尊严和信任,你连这点基本都给不了,少他妈的在我身上找女人对你的崇拜!!! 我腻了,腻了,吸引力算个什么玩意,能持续多久,你他妈对我有吸引力时,你好好享用美好时光,老娘厌倦你时,你屁都算不了一个!
就是这样的,你说呢?BONNIE?
生气的河马公主

tattoo

what's the fucking big deal of getting a fucking stupid tattoo on your ass???? what's the fucking stupid point of doing that???  to show other people that you are cool? stylish?? or what?? loads of people are getting the same tattoo on the same  fucking old place!! what's so fucking fun about it anymore???  getting a tattoo is no fucking big deal!!! removing one is the real job!!! if you can bear the pain!!
what do u think? Bonnie
an anti-tattoo hippo
February 12

haha

波米说得对!!应该往前看,会有美好的未来的!!!不能老沉迷与过去和回忆,会让我很灰心的,所以要好好对待自己,期待我的奇迹
HIPPO^_^

my deskmate

Bonnie, do you still remember the song" 同桌的你" by "老狼"?i don't know how old u were back then, i just all of a sudden remember the song, some old memories just jumped out in my mind.
明天你是否会想起昨天你写的日记  do you still remember the diary you wrote yesterday?
明天你是否还惦记曾经最爱哭的你  do you still miss the girl who used to cry a lot ?
老师们都已想不起猜不出问题的你  the teachers have long forgotten you, the girl who always missed the questions.
我也是偶然翻相片才想起同桌的你  but the old pictures refreshed my memories.
谁娶了多愁善感的你谁看了你的日记 who married this sentimental girl? who has read your diary?
谁把你的长发盘起谁给你做的嫁衣 who made your long hair into a bun, who dressed you as his beautiful bride?
你从前总是很小心问我借半块橡皮 you, this shy girl, used to ask me for half of the eraser.
你也曾无意中说起喜欢和我在一起 you, used to say that you liked to be with me
那时候天总是很蓝日子总过得太慢 back then, the sky seemed always blue, and the days seemed to be so idling
你总说毕然遥遥无期转眼就各奔东西 and you always said" the graduation day is coming soon, time to say good-bye"
谁遇到多愁善感的你谁安慰爱哭的你 who married this sentimental girl, who comforted you while u were crying?
谁看了我给你写的信谁把它丢在风里 who read the letter i wrote you, who let it be gone with the wind?
从前的日子都远去我也将有我的妻 what is gone is gone, what is to come keeps coming, and i will have my bride one day.
我也会给她看相片给她讲同桌的你 but i will show her your picture, telling her about you, my deskmate girl.
谁娶了多愁善感的你谁安慰爱哭的你 who married this sentimental girl, who comforted you while you were crying?
谁把你的长发盘起谁给你做的嫁衣 who made your long hair into a bun, who dressed you as his beautiful bride?

啦.......啦..............               la..... la....

Bonnie, do you miss your high school days?do you miss all the deskmates you've had? i do, eventhough, i don't even remember how many deskmates i've had in total. do you miss the boys you used to like in high school? those pure and simple days, those pure and simple people are long gone. but the memories of the sweet little excitement when the boy you fancied touched your hand are still fresh. it keeps you expecting something like that would happen to you again, even though the realities just keep telling you"it's not coming back, it's not coming back." you keep meeting new people, all kinds of people, coz you can't just live in the past, you rush into new things, jump into new relationships, you get disappointed, then you move on, move on. all of a sudden, all the things happened to you becomes a flash, it's like firework, sparkling, dazzling, but short-lived...only in the middle of the night, lying on the bed, some memories knock the door of your heart, at that moment, you know what you've been really longing for, you know...



February 05

my grandma

i've been sleeping with my grandma in the same bed since i was a small baby. in my memory, i haven't really slept with my mom in the same bed, i guess that's why i never hugged her or kissed her when i grow up.i only show my intimacy to my tiny little grandma.i would kiss her, put my finger in her mouth when she was yawning, hold her really tight when i was sleeping, touch her hands,checking that she was still with me even when i was 23. when i was a small kid,i couldn't really sleep if my grandma was not around, i remember there was one period of time, that my grandma went to the countryside to visit her relatives, and my mom sent a nanny to take care of me. i was screaming, crying" i only want my grandma, my grandma!!!" i was biting her, pushing her away,if my mom came over,i would even scream harder. i guess the nanny really hated me, such a littel devil!!no one could really calm me down, i fell asleep after i felt extremely exhausted, with tears on my face still. all my childhood was filled with the memories of my grandma, i used to play all kinds of games with her, i liked to be the teacher, and she was my pupil, or i was the doctor, she was my patient, or i was the ticket conductor, she was the passenger,or i am the hair-dresser, she was my client.etc..my grandma can cook the best best dishes in the world, everyday when i came back from school, the best moment was to have grandma's diner. i am the only child in my family, as many chinese kids.i was circled and spoiled by love and attention, especially from my granny. fortunately, i didn't turn out to be a little Miss.Spoiled.i grew up, saft and sound, knowing what love really means, knowing how important family is to me. small hippo became a big hippo gradually,and her grandma was getting older year by year.my grandma had very bad muscle pain on her legs, no matter how much Ca she took,i think it was the illness from the early harsh days. the only way to easy the pain is massage. most of the nights, i would get up when i heard or noticed she was in pain, although she never shouted,or cried, she just always tried to control or hide,because she wanted me to sleep well. i would put the towel in the very hot water,and dry the water, put the towel on her legs,then massage them until they felt better.i never feel troubled or bothered, and i never had a slice of unwillingness to do that. she is my grandma, the love i have for her can not be descirbed in words. when i was in college,my grandma was sent to the hospital 3 times, everytime, i would stay over at night in the hospital to keep her company, no matter how uncomfortable it was to sleep on the couch. i would feed her,change her underwear, put the urine thing under her when she needed to go to toilet. i could see that no matter how bad the situation was, when she saw me, she would smile, and the smile was from the button of her heart, the smile was only to me.there was one time, the nurse was making her in great pain by putting niddles 3 times in a roll into her hands, i was so furious,i was shouting at the nurse, threatening her i would kill her if she dares to do it again.i shocked everybody at present, i believe at that time, i wasn't even a human being. in my grandma's eyes, i am always the most beautiful and loving girl, no matter how fat i am, (whereas my mom is always making fun of me, giving me a lot of nicknames, which i found quite funny, my mom, my best friend, we have our sense of humor going on.)i like to listen to the stories between her and my grandpa, how he felt in love with her at the first sight, and how she waited for him for 3 years with only some letters. how pure and simple the love was, and she accompanied my grandpa till his last day.when i was in college, i chose to go home everyday, 50 minutes by bus one way, and i remember how longing i was to see my tiny littel granny everyday when i was on my way home, EVERYDAY. on the way when i left her for a foreign country, she was smiling, smiling,telling me to take care of myself again and again, until the moment i got into the car, i saw she cried, i saw the tears falling down of her face clearly,i know how much she didn't want me to leave, but she always think things for my best interest."my grand daughter is going abroad now, she is a smart girl, very smart, she will have a bright future" she always told her friends who played MAJIANG with her, eventhough none of them knew where Holland was.the love my grandma gave me is the most unselfish love. what did i do for her??? nothing, absolutely nothing, i just decided to leave for my dreams, and writting a stupid journal about how much i love her, shame on me.shame on me. my grandma is 83 now, how many years does she have...i don't want her to leave me,whenever i came to that thought, my tears just collapsed.
i miss my grandma,eventhough i can see her on cam everyweek, i want to hold her, and kiss her,tell her"granny, i am not leaving you anymore.." my grandma always said to me"Jiajia,you are living in your future, i am living in the past,go for your dreams!"
i am not a loving girl, i am just a selfish person,
i used to say, my grandma is the one i love most in the whole world,in the end, i realized that the one i love most is just myself...
 
i can't hold my tears back, writing about my grandma, at 4 o'clock in the morning.
 
Grandma's little girl
February 03

about past

we've been best friends since we were 13,since the first time he talked to me,11 years solid friendship is something really precious for me, i used to say to him" you are one of the most important guys in my life, no matter whom i will marry to,hahaha" both of us were so convinced that there can be pure real friendship between a boy and a girl. i still remember how much we needed each other when we first went to different high schools, we called each other every week, 5 hours at least, i will  call him for the first 2-3 hours, then he will call me back, until we fell asleep,i don't quite remember what we were talking about back then, just blah blah blah non-stop, it was really amazing that there was absolutely nothing more than friendship going on between us, both of our parents thought we were together, until we jumped in front of them, mocking at them not being able to understand what friendship meant. sometimes, he played guitar on the other side of the line, and i was singing.i liked to go to his place, he got all the equipment to record and guitar, bass. i liked to sing while he was playing guitar, and he would record everything, he said i was a good singer,which i almost forgot after i went to college, i didn't sing a lot in front of many people as i used to. recording our songs was one of the things we loved to do most, we also loved to play basketball,which i was a crap,haha, and swimming, and talking all night long. i always felt blessed, because many girls might have loads of good-looking boyfriends, but not many have someone like him as i did. that was one of the best period of time in my life. for some reason, after we went to different colleges, we contacted each other less and less, we met different friends, stepped into different friends circles, sometimes, when we got together, we didn't quite get each other as we used to do. we started to talk about boys, girls we fancied, somehow, something was missing at that moment, i think both of us could feel the change, but neither of us wanted to mention about it. after i went abroad, we almost didn't contact each other anymore, we didn't talk on QQ, coz i didn't know where to begin with...
until one day, when i hugged panda really tight, telling him"panda, u r one of the most important guys in my life",it remined me of my old friend, whom i haven't talked to for a long time. my life is going on, i keep on meeting different people, some colors, some memories are fading away,it's sad to witness the change. i wanna keep something, some people, but sometimes, it is like shouting in your nightmare,no matter how much you tried to cry out, no body can really hear you...

about my fellow students

i met my all the other international students yesterday,there are many french and american students, one german,2 austrian,4 polish, one italian,and one chinese, me.hahaha. i live with 3 french girls, they are all very pretty and nice! Josh is from America, 20-year-old. he didn't dance at all, but he is really funny, always wearing only one shirt, no matter how cold it is outside, and i always made fun of him, in a nice way, of course,hahaha. when i asked him,"so what can u cook?" he said" oh, sandwiches, hmm, pizza sandwiches" hahaha, that was the only thing he could cook. any, he is a funny, nice boy.we went out with all the other students yesterday. the night club"trinity rooms" was really cool. irish guys are not shy at all,i was wondering whether they were all drunk or it was just their nature.hahaha, but i like their straightforwardness, they are in general nice people.
 
January 31

谢谢

谢谢BONNIE 和ANNIE, 对我长期以来的鼓励和支持,河马太笨重了,跑也跑不动,还使劲乱冲,撞得鼻青脸肿.
河马会加油的,你们也要加油哦!!!
HIPPO^_^

a song for panda

我的小熊猫                
你对我真的很好          
那天不知道怎么了         
差点为别人疯掉
这么久以后
还是想把你放进口袋里
不管我去哪里
都想带着你一起
抱着你是一种踏实的幸福
尽管我知道你不再属于我
我为好多人疯狂过,受伤过
但只有你能在我记忆里停留
 
好幼稚的歌词, 昨天洗澡时唱的,今天忘了好多,昨天本来没那么幼稚的,今天洗澡继续唱,一定要记下来.不过都是我心里的话,所以我还是很喜欢的,嘿嘿
河马(跑也跑不动,还使劲跑啊跑)
 
 
 

about yesterday

what happened yesterday was like a dream, everything seemed to be surreal until the reality punched my face, telling me"wake up, you idiot!" again, i threw myself to something not truly worthy, all the crazy obsession became a poison, i feel quite unwell now. Bonnie said" silly Meg, no one is like you, no one will do things like you did". i thought love is a simple thing, when u love someone with ur heart, you will be loved the same. of course, this is just my very immature and naive thoughts. Arnold said" u don't need tricks in love, but self-containment is very important". i think he is right, i never have or be aware of this word"self- containment" learning from the lesson is what i can do now. just cool down, and move on, there is a new start waiting for me. peopel can hurt my feelings easily, because i am very sensitive and emotional. but only the ones i truly care about can leave the pain really deep. those who are not really worth my tears, no matter how harsh, how intense the pain was, after a period of time, maybe just a while, i will be cured. time is the best medicine, you get cured much easier than you have thought, and when you get rid of the pain, what happened yesterday is just like a joke.
obsession is unhealthy, it makes me blind and unable to think, i need to add some rationality, crazy girl!!
hippo^_^

about Nigel

i love to go dancing with Nigel. first of all, he can dance for sure, not just standing there, holding a beer, moving a bit. i like the way he dances,haha, quite funny, and he's got his own thing. second, he never tried to approach me or rub me from behind, which many guys who don't dance do, disgusting, not charming at all. third, which is very important, he never tried to pull my arms and move me the way he wants, that move can put me off immediately.fourth, Nigel is cute and sweet and funny. i love dancing alone, i love to have my own space, but going to the night club with Nigel is more interesting haha. will do it for sure after i go back to Holland.
hippo^_^
 
January 30

about panda

panda was still ill on saturday, but he insisted to send me to Ireland. he arranged everything, everything for a hippo. flight ticket, taxi,train ticket, hotel, restaurants...i just felt incredibly sorry that i was so grumpy on friday when he got a flu, and i didn't do cleaning before i left. i got a new nickname for panda,"meat". we both love it, hahaha.and i wrote a song for panda, in chinese, he could understand the first two lines,haha. i like the way panda held my face, and said to me" poor hippo, forget about those bad things, everything will be alright!"
i went out to a night club" tram co" the first day we arrived. i was actually very tired, almost fell asleep when we were having dinner( terrible thai restaurant, very expensive, but terrible food and terrible waitress). i went to a shower, where i found there was no shampoo!!! panda had to go out to get me shampoo. i almost felt like giving up to go out, coz i was yawning all the time. panda was very ill, coughing, feeling weak.so he went to bed early, reading.but crazy hippo finally decided to go to "tram co".i have to check out the night clubs!!! i went back to the hotel at 4 oclock, panda was waken by me, as he expected."come to bed, a hippo" panda was so warm,and i was like a frozen stick!i put my feet under his feet, and i felt warm soon( it was raining, and the it is quite humid here,different from holland). all of a sudden, i felt i went back to my grandma,panda is always so tolerant to me, eventhough most of time, i was behaving like a 5-year-old child.
the next day,we went on the tour bus, coz i was too tired to walk. panda was still coughing, but he said he felt better than the day before. i was looking at him, looking at his hands, the skin looked a bit yellowish, he looked pale. knowing that fact that he was going to leave in 1 and half hours, i almost bursted into tears. "hippo, remember this and that..." he was still listing the things i need to do all by myself...Being spoiled by panda, being taken care of by him makes me feel "i don't care even if i was dumped by all the guys i used to be obsessed with". i still wanna put panda in my pocket, no matter who i meet, who he is going to meet.
panda's girlfriend is coming on friday, she will stay for 2 and half months.i am sure she can take better care of him than me.
miss panda,hehehe
a hippo^_^
 
 
 
January 26

BOOOOO

BOOO,我星期六早上8点就走,到那边后,我会尽快上网的,我心里好委屈,好委屈,又不方便在这说,还是和你在MSN上聊,我不知道你听到了会怎么想...我不知道自己怎么了...委屈哦...
HIPPO...
 

Hippo

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